The Two of Swords

This new moon with all its Eclipse power has me asking myself what is true- not what I think other people want to hear. Not me taking care of other people’s emotions so that they are happy regardless of how I feel. What is true for me? 

People say speak your truth, but what does that actually mean? What *is* my truth? When I sit down to ask myself these questions I’m surprised how much difficulty I have. As someone who is a nurturer, I am someone who cares very much about how other people feel, how comfortable they are, and what their experience is like with me, or with a service that I provide. So what’s true for me? What is my truth? What do I really want? If I could have anything I wanted what would it be? How does one get that answer?

I know what my family wants of me. I know what my colleagues want of me. I know what my students want of me and what my clients what of me. But what about me? What do I want for me?

So how can we work on answering these questions, and getting to the bottom of what we want? Well, I can tell you I’m still working on it. I think this might be one of those lifelong lessons that is a practice rather than something that is mastered. 

There’s something two this idea of the Two of Swords tarot card, that I think is helpful. Here, we have a figure who is blindfolded, a sword in each hand, arms crossed in front of the chest. Does this figure look like a person who want’s anyone else’s opinion? Or wants to hear anyone else’s thoughts on the matter? This is a person who very clearly wants to tune everything and everyone else out so they can hear themselves think for THEM. 

So this, dear reader, is a question for you: What can you do, or where can you go (nearby) to hear yourself think? Where can you shut out all the other voices and opinions that live in your head?

One of my favorite places is the dance floor. Last fall I made a performance for Raven’s Night that talks about this topic. I invite you to watch it here.